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Trudy Light

You should keep a message in each pocket,
so that you can read one or the other according to your needs.
In the right pocket are the words: "I am dust and ashes"
in the left are the words: "For my sake the universe was created."



—Reb Simcha Bunim

What is the truth about you? Are you worthless or precious? The answer depends upon who you are asking. . . and when. Your mother has a different appraisal of your worth than the lover you rejected. And these are just two of the many possible appraisals of you. Is any one of them the true appraisal of your worth? Each person believes that their appraisal of you is the valid one and those who appraise you differently are wrong. Needless to say, the objective world does not have an opinion of you; appraisals of worth exist only in the mind of the one doing the appraising.

Each of us perceives the world from our own particular perspective. There are no immaculate perceptions. What you take to be objective truth is just how things look from your perspective. Reality looks different when you shift to a different point of view. This is not just true psychologically, it applies to the physical domain as well.

What time is it?

Trudy is an astronaut exploring the outer solar system 669 million miles from the earth [about 1 light hour away]. She points her telescope to Big Ben and sees that the clock's face says 10:00. However, her wristwatch [which is set to Greenwich Mean Time and so should show the same time as Big Ben] says it is 11:00. Trudy realizes that the image she is looking at left Big Ben's clock face an hour ago.

Let's call the photons being absorbed by Trudy's retina at the moment: Trudy light. When she is looking at Big Ben, Trudy light carries an image that says it is 10:00, but her local time, reported by the photons from her wristwatch, say it is 11:00.

There is no universal answer to the question: "What time is it?" The answer depends on whether you are asking someone in New Your, London, or on a spaceship orbiting Jupiter.

There is, however, one perspective that will always report the same answer. From the perspective of a photon emanating from Big Ben's face at 10:00, it is always 10:00. Whether that photon is observed by a tourist across the street or by Trudy orbiting Jupiter, it carries the image of Big Ben showing it is 10:00. From the photon's perspective: Time does not change; it is always 10:00!

Superposition

Where is the photon at 10:00? From the photon's perspective, it is everywhere! Trudy, an observer, has a different perspective. She is at a particular location when that photon is absorbed by her retina. At that moment, the photon is not everywhere— it is at Trudy's retina. The photon which had been in the superposition of everywhere collapses to that location and becomes Trudy light.

This thought experiment illustrates the Copenhagen Interpretation of quantum mechanics: an object in a physical system can simultaneously exist in all possible configurations [superposition]. An observation forces the object into just one of those possible states. In this case, the observation of the photon (which could be anywhere) fixes it at the observer's retina.

What is true for the physical universe is true for your subjective universe. Things look different from different perspectives. No perspective is valid and complete! Are your worthless or precious? Is it 10:00 or 11:00?

If you want to be on time for an appointment, it is important to know the local time. If your narcissism is harming your relationships, it is important to remind yourself that you are but dust and ashes.

What is the true time? What is your true worth? There are no valid answers to such questions. People with different perspectives will give you different answers, and each will feel certain that their answer is true. You'd be a fool to use truth as the basis for your interpretations—better to choose on the basis of utility.

The reciprocal relationship between failure and the expectation of failure

Self-appraisals often have self-fulfilling consequences. People who expect to fail tend to abandon their efforts when they encounter difficulty or frustration, and so their outcomes tend to confirm their expectation. While those who believe they will eventually succeed tend to continue to work the problem, despite setbacks and even physical discomfort, until they do succeed [see Perseverance & Self-Efficacy].

Clients who can pay for my services tend to be successful in most domains of their life except for the source of their misery—such as maintaining a satisfying relationship, controlling their drinking or gambling, etc. To follow a more advantageous path they have to do something different. But how do you get someone to see things from a different perspective when they are certain that the way they currently see things is the truth.

In this thought experiment, see if you can empathize with the perspective of the therapist:

A Hopeless Argument

Mr. E. tells me [his therapist], "I feel like a failure."

I tell him, "I think you are a bright, creative guy with a lot to offer."

"You have to say that, you are my therapist."

It is true. My appraisal of Mr. E. is biased by the fact that I am his therapist. I want a good outcome for him; besides, I like him and actually do think he is a bright and talented fellow. Like many of my clients, E. has a much lower opinion of himself than I do He would be much better off if he acted as if my appraisal of his worth was the valid one.

With this in mind, I try to get him to consider his many strengths and virtues. But I am on a fool's errand. No matter what I may bring up, he will counter it with a convincing (to him at least) argument that supports the hopelessness of his situation. In so doing he strengthens the potency of his handicapping suggestion.

Certainty is the parent of intransigence

Because Mr. E. is certain that his negative appraisal of himself is valid, the therapist will do more harm than good trying to convince him otherwise [as he will argue in defense of his worthlessness]. An alternative strategy is to appeal to Mr. E.'s pro-scientific bias. The ancient Greek skeptics (like modern scientists) were known as those who suspend judgment.

Adversaries of Certainty

  • The only thing I truly know is that I know nothing - Socrates

  • I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing - Plato

  • The only thing that we know is that we know nothing -- and that is the highest flight of human wisdom - Tolstoy

  • Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed - Nietzsche

Socrates might advise Mr. E.: "Know yourself, and when you do you will discover that you know nothing." Nietzsche might continue, "By wiping your slate clean, you will be discarding the illusions that cause you to act counter to your interests and principles."

[When I clumsily suggested that E.'s problems were due to a classic thinking error, he responded: "The fact that I ruined my life because of a simple thinking error shows what a failure I really am." This initial reaction demonstrates that even though Mr. E. "got it" he needs more than intellectual understanding to make the irreversible change we seek].



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