chapters

Mindfulness Exercises

Be Here Now

 — Ram Dass

Acceptance

To follow the Mindful path, practice non-reactive acceptance to the things that happen. This mode of relating to experience — "awareness of the present moment with acceptance" is called Being Mode. The alternative problem-solving orientation in which one reacts to the things that happen by evaluating them with the goal of improvement or righting the wrongs is called Doing Mode.

There is nothing sinful, defective, or wrong about wanting to understand and fix problems, or about seeking pleasure or relief. Those motivations are intrinsic to our species. However, when a particular mode of reacting repeatedly produces bad outcomes, you would do well to try something different and see what happens.

Non-reactive acceptance is surprisingly difficult to practice because dispassionate acceptance is not the typical mode of reacting when painful or frustrating things happen. Discomfort automatically elicits the motivation to solve the problem or seek relief. In fact, we have reacted this way so often that Doing is the default mode. So getting yourself to respond to discomfort with non-reactive acceptance and observation requires some doing.

Here are some exercises that will give you some opportunities to practice non-reactive acceptance.

Tolerating Discomfort: The Hot Pizza Exercise

Eat an amount of hot sauce or hot pepper that produces a slightly greater reaction than you are used to and focus on the sensation of discomfort.  Simply investigate the experience and how you react to it.  Later, after the hotness recedes try it again and see if you can push your limits while maintaining a clear, focused mind. 

Important note: don’t cause tissue damage or hurt yourself; be compassionate and only push the limits to the extent that you can do so without being self-punishing or doing any damage to this body you inhabit.

You can also experiment with a cold shower, or alternate the shower temperature between a bit too hot and a bit too cold.  The goal of these exercises is to experience the sensations while maintaining a clear and focused mind, and without tightening up mentally or physically.  

The ability to tolerate temptation and discomfort without defecting from your path of greatest advantage is one definition of Willpower.

Labeling Discomfort: Using the SUDS

Our goal here is to perceive experiences as phenomena that we can observe and come to see as consequences of antecedent events and then as causes of subsequent events. The SUDS  —  Subjective Units of Discomfort Scale  — is a tool to help you shift your perspective from the creature who experiences to the one who observes the experiences of the creature.

This tool is useful to research your reactions in high-risk situations. To get some practice with SUDS, repeat the previous exercise and record your SUDS at intervals to reveal the intensity of the experience over time [the pattern often looks like a sine wave —  starting small, reaching a crest, and then subsiding].

De-Reification

Reifying the beliefs and perspectives that promote negative emotional states weaken willpower; developing the capacity to tolerate unavoidable discomfort with acceptance strengthens willpower.

Deviations from the path of least resistance require will, because behaving non-automatically is more effortful than behaving automatically. Developing control of excessive appetites require additional effort to resist the desire for the immediate gratification of using the incentive. Observing the ebb and flow of desire associated with a self-imposed restriction — e.g., weight loss diet, smoking cessation, cutting back on your alcohol intake — provides an opportunity to observe and work with a rich assortment of subjective phenomena.

Tolerating Desire: Shifting to the Observer's Perspective

When you encounter the experience of desire, label it by silently saying something like: "Ah yes, there's desire again."  No need to judge the experience, analyze it, or try to change it.  Just label it as soon as you've identified it—nimbleness is important.  What does desire feel like?  What are the mental and physical changes that are associated with desire?  Notice how the experience changes with time. Does it seem to occur in a series of waves of greater or lesser intensity?  Are there thoughts that suggest you give in to the desire?  The goal of this exercise is to shift from the associative perspective of the entity directly experiencing the desire to the dissociative perspective of the dispassionate observer.  You may find it interesting to use the SUDS to observe the time pattern of desire and the factors that increase or decrease it.

Doing the right thing despite the pull of temptation or the push of stress is the responsibility of adulthood. Willpower is the measure of how much of these external sources of corruption you can tolerate without defecting from your principles. [It is imporatant to distinguish willpower from the magical power to bring about intended outcomes. After all, sometimes you don't have control over the relevant variables.]

 




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