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Perspective Is Everything

Winners have the ability to step back from the canvas of their lives
like an artist gaining perspective.
They make their lives a work of art  — 
an individual masterpiece. 

– Denis Waitley

Sometimes your situation seems hopeless, the problems are overwhelming and unsolvable. Yet if a friend were in a similar circumstance you would be able to suggest some obvious solutions. Likewise, when viewing one of your own blunders in retrospect you can often see opportunities that were invisible at the time. To make sense of your personal history and restrain your self-criticism, understand this: It looks different than it feels. The observer's perspective is different than the first-person perspective.

The psychologist studies subjective phenomena from the Dissociative Perspective. When the psychologist is on vacation [s]he experiences subjective phenomena from the Associative Perspective. When you look back on a blunder you are observing the unfolding of events rather than having the first-person experience of them. This dissociative perspective is less vulnerable to state-dependent distortions of appraisal. Examples:

  • Doing something harmful to another seems like a better idea when you are in an angry state than it does when you look back on it.
  • A first lapse seems like a better idea when you are craving that it does in retrospect.

Your can appraise your options more advantageously from the Dissociative Perspective than from the first-person perspective. And so developing the ability to shift form the default first-person perspective to the perspective of the dispassionate observer can be useful — especially if you are impulsive.

Jane is taking her dog, Spot, for an off leash walk, and sees some boys lighting a firecracker. Jane, the puppy trainer, is concerned about a real danger: Spot will be frightened by the sound of the firecracker and take off running into the street where he would face the genuine danger of getting run over. Spot, of course does not realize all of this; from his perspective, the firecracker triggers an instinctual fight-or-flight reaction. Jane knows that the firecracker presents no danger to Spot, and that the only danger he faces is his emotional reaction to the loud but harmless event.


Jane, who has the advantage of the dispassionate observer's perspective, is in a better position than Spot to appraise the objective dangers Spot faces. Fortunately, Jane had trained her dog well. When she spotted the danger, she called him, and he came to her before the firecracker went off. If she would have called him after the firecracker went off he might have been too emotionally aroused to follow the command. Likewise, the earlier in the sequence of internal states and external events that you can exercise your will, the greater the likelihood that you will be able to react non-automatically.

The Experiential Processing System determines the reactions of children and animals. When a child experiences fear—say in the doctor’s office just before the inoculation—her emotional arousal comes with the tacit premise that the fear is based on a real threat and its intensity is related to the awfulness of the situation. 

Jane has taken her 5 yr old, Sally, to the doctor for her shots. Seeing the needle and imagining what is about to happen makes Sally cry and try to run away. Fearing the struggle will cause injury, Jane tells her, “Don't be afraid, it will just sting for a moment,” which, of course, does no good. Finally, she physically restrains Sally for the moment of the inoculation, and then it is over and in a few minutes Sally is playing without a care.

The impulsivity of children is understandable. They live in the here and now, and do not appreciate the benefits of inoculation. Even we adults are unmoved by dangers that are not immediately obvious. Warning signs of disaster that are obvious from the observer's perspective can be easily missed by the performer whose attention is otherwise occupied.

Taking on the Observer's Perspective: In this Thought Experiment, you are an adult observing a youngster who is so excited to go swimming that she is about to jump head-first into a lake. You are familiar with this lake and know that there are rocks just below the surface. Can you empathize with the subjective experiences of the child and the observer.

Now, see if you can project these subjective experiences on two versions of yourself: One who knows you well and has unconditional positive regard for you, and is observing you in a situation that usually elicits a self-sabotaging emotional state, such as anger, shame, or relapse. Compare your appraisal of your options from the first-person's and the observer's perspective. Imagine a dialogue between these two entities.

This Thought Experiment is a metaphor for Epstein's Two Minds. The rational observer who has valuable knowledge [your Abstract Processing System], and the actor, who is in danger of making a predictable error [your Experiential Processing System].

The default is the first-person [associative] perspective. Only when we have the luxury of the time to detach and shift into the dispassionate observer's perspective can we access our cognitive gifts and respond mindfully.

 

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